Part of the 5%

I learned an interesting statistic recently – 95% of families that include a child with special needs are not a part of a faith community.  Brent and I have often joked about our lives frequently hitting the small percentage chances for good or ill, but this is one time I am quite thankful to be in the 5% category.

Our family is part of an amazing Christian congregation in Harleysville, PA.  Brent, Clara and I joined Advent

Advent Lutheran Church, Harleysville

Lutheran Church when she was just six months old.  It’s a group of people who take very seriously Jesus’ commandment to love and serve your neighbor.   There is a deep care and welcome for children and just a generally cheery sense about the congregation.  Some of our dearest friendships have been built through Advent and both Brent and I volunteer with youth and family ministries there.

It really wasn’t until Connor was born, though, that I realized how lucky we were to have this community of people.  Within hours of finding out Connor was in the NICU, someone from Advent organized a calendar to bring us meals.  For two or three weeks after he came home, a friendly visitor or two would show up almost nightly with a healthy, homemade meal.  We were humbled by their generosity.

And after we received Connor’s diagnosis we’ve had many prayers lifted up on our behalf for strength, patience and wisdom.  Prayers and well wishes for doctor visits and surgeries.  Offers of help to watch Clara while we were with Connor at some appointment.  Smiles and hugs, genuine questions of “How is Connor?”  “How are you?”  The way we’ve been supported by this community in little and big ways bring tears my eyes even now while writing about it.

Connor and the other kids in the Nursery Sunday School class

This past fall, Connor started Sunday School with other 2-3 year olds.  The teachers and helpers read Bible stories, do crafts and pray with the smallest of God’s children every week.  Without us even having to ask, the amazing coordinator of our Sunday School ministry made arrangements for a high school helper  to be in the classroom each Sunday morning to assist Connor.

Connor's Crayons

A few months ago, one of the teachers (another amazing volunteer) showed Brent this box – crayons that she had found or purchased and set aside for Connor because she thought he’d have an easier time gripping them and doing the coloring activities.  He told me about it with tears in his eyes.  He said all he was able to do was hug her.  I had to go see it for myself.  As I held this little box in my hands I felt this overwhelming peace.  Connor was going to be ok.  We were going to be ok. (starting to ugly cry at my computer now) There are a lot of people in this world who care deeply about him – not just family or close friends, but a much wider circle. 

I know I’m biased, but I truly wonder where else you would find this kind of community.   I ache for the other 95% who don’t know this feeling of being connected , welcomed and cared for like we are so blessed to experience.

Advent isn’t every church.  I know some churches do a horrible job of welcoming people.  So often I think congregations and the people in them just don’t know what to “do” with someone who has special or different needs.  They are afraid to do something wrong, afraid to ask a question that might offend.  While this may be true at Advent, we certainly haven’t felt it. 

So to our Advent family, especially to those who go the extra mile for Connor – thank you.  You bless our lives more than words on a screen could ever describe.  And please don’t talk to me about this blog post on Easter Sunday because I’ll start ugly crying then, too. :)