Unconditional

Connor loves bouncing on his therapy ball!

Little man continues to make progress with his therapies.  His is holding his head up for longer periods of time now and we think has made a few efforts to bat at toys with his hands.  He tolerates the eye patch and helmet still although in this hot weather he doesn’t have the helmet on for as long during the day.  Will probably mean he has to wear it past the three months the orthotist guessed at the start, but that’s ok.

While always a content, good baby, Connor is turning into a smiley baby.  Before, we would have to work pretty hard to get a smile out of him, but now he finds the strangest things funny and turns on the charm with his therapists (I think he’s trying to get out of the exercises he doesn’t like).  Connor’s also starting to acknowledge people he knows.  It’s so amazing to finally have your baby smile at you when he sees your face in the morning or turn his head when he hears your voice.  I’ve been waiting for that for many months.

We were at the orthotist (helmet lady) the other day and there were two other babies there.   I told Clara I thought they were about Connor’s age.  Almost right away, she commented on how well they held their heads up and then insisted they were older than Connor.  We asked their mom and she said they were eight months old, just a week younger than Connor.  Then about ten minutes later when the mom put the little girl baby down to play with Clara, Clara said, “She can sit all by herself?!  Connor can’t do that!”  The mom sweetly smiled at her and said, “He will soon”.   We don’t really have close interaction with babies Connor’s age so this was one of the first times she’s interacted with another baby and noticed the differences.

Kisses from Sissy

Brent and I have been honest with Clara about Connor, but have also chosen not to tell her everything.  We answer questions when she has them and explain the obvious things (his nystagmus, eye patch, helmet) to her right away so she can respond when people ask about it.  But we haven’t told her about the internal/brain things and what all of that might mean.  She’s a worrier and I don’t want to stress her out.  It’s for selfish reasons, too.  I feel like she’s really the only one in Connor’s life who doesn’t look at him and wonder “Will he ever…”.  I would like to keep it that way for as long as possible.  She thinks he’s perfect (and, I know, she will even when she knows more) and there’s something unconditional about her relationship with him that not even I can give him.  Not sure why I feel so strongly about this…even as I write now, I tear up about it.

But after this interaction with the girl baby, I know the questions are coming soon – “Why can’t Connor do what those babies can?”  I pray for the right words when the time comes.

Next week the kids are off to “Camp Gramma” – two weeks in North Dakota with my mom while I head to New Orleans for the ELCA Youth Gathering.  Brent is joining me there for part of the time to lead our synod’s youth worship band.  I'll be away from them for eight days, but am not worried as I know they are in good hands!

Stay cool! :)