Connor, on the other hand, was not so easy. We checked around with people we knew to see
if anyone they knew would be willing to watch Connor after preschool. No luck.
We called several day care centers, but the bus from his preschool
wouldn’t transport there. Finally we
found one that the bus would take him to and while they had room for him, because
of his special needs they had to get approval from their corporate office. So we filled out a pack of forms, did a site
visit with Connor, got them a copy of his IEP and then waited. More than a week later we received a call
saying that the center could take Connor, but only if WE provided a one-on-one
aide for him. IF WE HAD SOMEONE WHO
COULD WATCH HIM DON’T YOU THINK WE WOULD JUST HAVE THAT PERSON WATCH HIM AT OUR
HOUSE?! So because we couldn’t do that,
they couldn’t or wouldn't accept Connor into the center.
We were now down to the last possibility on the list and
gave them a call. They had room for
Connor and asked if we could come to the center and talk things through. We went an hour later and while the director
was very nice, the whole time we were talking about Connor’s needs he just had
this “o.m.g.” look on his face. We
toured the facility, saw what would be his room and then when we went out to
the playground I asked the director if the center had ever had a child with special
needs like Connor’s. He shook his
head. No, never a child in a wheelchair
or who wasn’t mobile. Never a child who
couldn’t feed himself or had zero language skills.
I could tell he felt bad about this confession. I gave him a little smile and said, “Neither
had we until Connor. There’s a first
time for everything.” To which he smiled
back and said, “We really want to work with you and see if this is possible for
him.” After the tour he said he needed
to talk to his corporate office and get approval. This time, however, we got a call the next
day! He said that if we were willing to
give it a try that they were, too. So on
Monday Connor will start a trial period at this center. They aren’t providing an aide, but there are two
teachers and 11 kids with a floating teacher who will sometimes be in the
room. We are just grateful for a place
that is willing to give Connor a chance.
We realize that having Connor in the room changes the dynamic for the
teachers and the other kids. We realize
that having Connor there is a lot more work for the adults. We realize that Connor won’t be fully engaged
in everything, but for now we just need a safe place for him to go after
preschool. We are thankful and hopeful,
but also realistic that this may not work out.
And while we have been thinking about what place will take
Connor in after school, we’ve also been doing a lot of thinking about our
forever home here in Illinois. We are
still renting a wonderful home from the church and while it’s working out great
we are definitely feeling the need to settle into a house and be done with
transition! The process of finding a
house has been complicated. Not only is
the housing market difficult in the area we need to be in, Brent and I have been
agonizing over the layout of the home.
We are trying to see into the future and forecast what Connor’s mobility
and independence will be. We’re trying
to imagine if it would be better, easier, fairer to have his room on main floor
even if the rest of us are upstairs. We’re
trying not to let go of our and Clara’s desires and needs for this next home. It just feels really complicated right now
and we are wondering when or even if we will find a home that work for us, whatever
that means.
Connor was evaluated and approved for additional
Occupational Therapy and Feeding Therapy at the Easter Seals and now we are on
a wait list for both of those. I’m
especially looking forward to getting back into Feeding Therapy as meals have
been frightful. Every breakfast and
about half of his lunches and dinners are spent screaming, crying and thrashing
around. Sometimes we can get him to
settle down and eat and sometimes after 20 or so minutes of either trying to
calm him or trying to jam food into his mouth, we just give up. I’m worried if we don’t get this under
control he will have lost weight by his birthday well visit and they will want
to talk about either doing more bottles again or something more invasive. Both would feel like huge steps backward
after all we’ve been through with feeding and how far he has come.
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| Ready for the first day of Sunday School 2015! |
Prayers and good vibes for peace and patience in the midst
of all of this are appreciated!
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| Taking selfies on mom's phone |
